Clearing the Mind Weeds in a Counselling Profession

Response-ability enunciates Perls, is a mis apply word. It means the ability to respond the ability to be existing, to witness, to be sensitive. (GTV, 100). It does non mean obligation. It doesnt mean duty. Duty- what is that anyway? bingle way or another, it is something that Ive been directed to do with disclose conducting why. I do it automatic onlyy, without accepting responsibility for my actions. This was the trait that saw me through the travails in my tone whither I moved from permit others be responsible for me to taking responsibility for myself. Perhaps this is what motivated me to pursue my goals without relying too much on my family resources.I learned primaeval on not to assign the cause of my appearance to my p bents or my past or even the wealth of my family. In the process I learned this some important value of responsibility that kept me grounded and divine serviceed me in my studies and gain. However, it was not an easy journey. I back toothnot cons ider my life as an extraordinary this world had ever had. each(prenominal) person has a story to tell and I must(prenominal) secern mine is not re in ally something different. While some masses sp leftover their lives with slews of colors around them, some fitting do not and as much as I hate to admit, I spent some(prenominal) age of my life belonging to the second group.I go with flow and that has evermore been the case. It goes this way I knew I indigence to attend school and so I did. I contrive to do well in school or else I go forth suffer from all the criticisms the usual criticisms. It is never easy to live in other peoples expectations to the point that it is what they indispensableness that drives you. It is your body under their minds. I tin directly cogitate how pathetic that was. All the while, though, I do not think I was as inspired as the rest of the class was. I did not make lots of friends from school. No big piling But there were measure when I also deal with mentation of the primings for the empty life.Those days would usually end with me getting no answer than It must be me Although I acknowledge the fact that each of us has our testify set of favorences and all the while, I lived in the thought that I proficient prefer to live my life like this lonely, detached, alone. It was tiring when you care for no one and much when no one cares for you. In a way, my opinions book been changed because I have learned to create a balance in obeying orders. It was there where I learned that there is blind obedience that ignores all rationality and obedience establish on stopdom.Those involved in a transaction are free-livingthey discount walk away from the deal if they dont like whats happening. And just as they are free to leave, they are also free to stay. In fact, if one is not free to walk away, he is not free to tell apart to stay. Some of my bear teachers then helped me spring up a sense of competence and love of learning. Though some helped me find my own directions and make my own discoveries, others taught me to follow orders and not ask questions. If I had enough teachers who cared more some their authority than or so my growth, I probably would have left school more a robot than when I entered.I learned that to the degree that Ive been conditioned in ways that block my process of growth, I act like a robot. Something happens near me and I respond. No time for choice, between the stimulus and the response. Im reacting entirely to preprogrammed program lines in my memory. In examining the idea of obedience in the context of my schooling, I remember the works of authors Darymple and Milgram who provided two points of views. In doing so, I got several insights especially when I began examining the idea of the authors in the execution of orders.In the course of my study, I was able to see where the authors were coming from in their pursuit of obedience. I have learned that if I want to in crease my power of authority, I washstand develop and cultivate my honor rather than seek honors, status, recognition and praise. Others forget honor me when they know that not only do I have the capability to do what is necessary, I execute it in grace and honor. I started my career as an advocate of science and technology. Yes, my first degree was Bachelor of Science in automatonlike Engineering.I utilise to get fascinated with breakthroughs science gets to offer all those inventions and advances in technology. Awesome Hale great Breath-taking Fantastic All those praises Nothing can present the feeling of having invented something out of nothing. Or the feeling of world the one to drastically improve the current state of something for the benefit of people around the solid ground it is always satisfying But who could tell it was not objectively a career of my own choice? I was one of those high school graduates who do not really know what they want to happen in their liv es.And so, without any particular basis, it was Bachelor of Science in windup(prenominal) Engineering that I stop up with. I was aware of the good future this field has to offer. I have known of lots of people who have succeeded in this career who took up this course. I, at least, had this driving force to continue with my study. Fair enough to push me to strive harder and harder. I just told myself I need it or else I give end up with nothing. Looking at my Engineering career, I know that I took risks that I was exiting to take for granted. They were statements of who I am and who I am not.We can near never know enough to be sure what is going to happen as a result of what we do. We can only guess, assume and expect, with varying degrees of certainty. At this blink of an eye, under these circumstances, with knowledge I have now, I make my choice. I live with its results. The conditions of my life today are the result of choices I made yesterday. Everyone blows it now and the n. If I think clearly and act as safely and wisely as I know how, thats all I can do. We cant help some of our suffering, yet sometimes we ourselves create the rest.Now, I have learned to take my failures and my half-successes as a normal part of life. My errors and defeats sometimes teach me more than my successes. In an important sense, they are not failures at all. In the process, I learned interdependence. Interdependence asks, What can we do and be together? Interdependence asks the synergy question. It is not external yet the power that focuses knowledgeablely. It relies on the capacity that people have within themselves to be tougher on themselves, to push themselves harder when they are subsuming what they want in the cause of something thats greater.Ultimately, thats what sacrifice is all most giving up what I want now for what I want the most. Giving up what does not matter as much, for what matters more. Sometimes the postulate of the few are sacrificed for the n eeds of the many. Sometimes the sacrifice is just the reverse, and the needs of the many can accommodate the needs of the few. The needs of the few are worth the sacrifice and commitment of the many. Self-control, demonstrated in a group setting, is very powerful. to each one person all important(p)ly says, I give myself to it, because it is the right thing to do. Many enjoy learning but they do not always like being taught.It requires humility. It requires recognition, first within and then to those who would teach you. It was at this phase of my life where I learned to be a honest leaderone who is not afraid to learn new things and try out new ways of doing things. When a leader says one thing, the effect is intent listening and execution. The art of listening which I learned well at this point enabled me to come to the other person in terms that they understand, because I now approach them from their frame of reference, their inclinations, wants, and needs. Indeed, true lea ders are able to connect with people well.I started my career as an advocate of science and technology. Yes, my first degree was Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering. I used to get fascinated with breakthroughs science gets to offer all those inventions and advances in technology. Awesome Hale great Breath-taking Fantastic All those praises Nothing can beat the feeling of having invented something out of nothing. Or the feeling of being the one to drastically improve the current state of something for the benefit of people around the globe it is always satisfying But who could tell it was not really a career of my own choice?I was one of those high school graduates who do not really know what they want to happen in their lives. And so, without any particular basis, it was Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering that I ended up with. I was aware of the good future this field has to offer. I have known of lots of people who have succeeded in this career who took up th is course. I, at least, had this driving force to continue with my study. Fair enough to push me to strive harder and harder. I just told myself I need it or else I get out end up with nothing. Description of a Learning Event in Listening and Being Listened toI remembered an incident that was the turning point in my career. When I aim the book on Teach only Love, I knew that I wanted to shift my course. I wanted to go into counselling. There was something somewhat the book that touched(p) the innermost being in me. I wanted to shift my profession from Mechanical Engineering to Counselling Studies. These are far apart degrees and, yes, I did not see myself engaging in counselling. No, not even in my wildest dream. But this is not a dream. Yes, I am living in truth and the reality is that this is the vocation of choice. This is where I find myself, my heart.This is where I belong. It is true what the magical book says that it is from your past where you draw your present. If no t for the thousands of rejection, if not for the feeling of inferiority, if not for the lack of self-confidence, I do not really think this book would have as much effect on me as it had. I was so excited about it that I immediately told it to my best friend. I knew he would understand me more than anyone else. As I was telling him of my decision, I could see that he was getting listless. I saw him bending my eyes as soon as I uttered those words.I could not blame him. We both dreamt that we would finish the course and here I was bandy out on him. After a while, I responded, Youre tempestuous. he says, Why would I be angry? I was sure that my friend was angry but resisted knowing his own crossness because of his in-person values in which anger is a wicked emotion. I knew that there was resistance to acknowledge this since he was terrified of losing control, unable to think of himself as angry because of our friendship. He seemed to be projecting his anger on me at that moment and I could feel it so strongly.In a way, I was able to gently tell him how he looks and sounds which made him aware and he then began to talk about his anger. At that very moment I felt like a real professional counsellor. I was able to gently guide him about his feelings, even if I was unsure of what to say at all. I knew that if I uttered the wrong words, he pass on walk out on me. But I gently drew out his feelings then. I tried to help him break out of his sullen, angry depression. Finally, he suggested that he punch a throw pillow bunched up in a corner of the couch in a corner of the student lounge. There were a few students around.He did not wait for my reply. He started punching, harder and harder, until he was breathing troubled and deeply, feeling the relaxation. He did this several times, while I sat quietly, finally remarking on how much different his face lookedsmoother, less tense , not so red under the eyes. He countered how clear his mind seemed, that it was the first time in several days that he really felt relaxed. I managed to ask him if those punches were meant for me because I was planning to change courses. He said, he thinks those were more of his angry feelings because he was obligated to take up Engineering when he wanted to go into the arts.In an instant, I empathized with him. I knew how it was like to take up something where ones heart was not on it. He then began to talk quietly about his father, and how he wanted him to take up Engineering instead of Speech and Drama. After a minute or so of that conversation, I asked, How do you feel now? He was beginning to feel tense and angry again. The object lesson for him was (1) the need for physical release for his anger, and (2) the amount of control his thoughts exercised over his feelings (Ellis, 1966). The hearts yearningThe pent-up feelings seem to come mainly from either of two frustrations, my classmate was having feelings and thoughts which appear to be enormous, odd, scary, and feeling cut off from other people because of his own inferiority with our other classmates. I have learned from this incident that catharsis is often not enough. At some point in the helping process, the understanding, which comes with a careful analysis of anger, may be healing. My classmate was able to see his anger in the context of internal polarity or conflict, between intrust for freedom and a sense of duty, and be liberated by the understanding.The precise descriptions of the anger get laid helped my classmate by removing excess emotional baggage. Insight is curative, but most frequently, both lymph gland and counsellor provide find additional action useful to manage anger. For me, this action is intervention, helping my classmate change attitudes about each of our decisions. It was a poignant moment I would never forget. I knew he wanted to lash out his anger on me. Although I appeared to be so passive all the while, in my heart I know I long for something. That some thing, however, is unknown.I do not know if I am just one those people who experience wanting something they do not exactly know what or looking for something they do not know, for sure, if existent. Can you just imagine how if feels to be in the dark? Be somewhere without any clear direction? They say that every exact thing just takes a little of getting used to. Oh, well, probably, as I seemed to have been used to the feeling of being lost. It was sad but true. Despite the lack of light in my life, I never questioned the existence of the Great Someone Up There. I perfectly know he is there. I do not recall how often I scream for His help.Maybe not that often but, of course, I do. I do and in my heart, I know I am not essentially alone all the while. However, there are moments when I tend to question the number and quantity of challenges facing me. There seems to be an imbalance in load allocation. How come I felt so lost while others follow certain direction? How come I do not kn ow what I want in life while others are so certain of what they want in theirs? How come I do not seem to possess enough reason to be happy and complete. I often envy happy and satisfied people, I must admit but I do not disablement to them. I just envy them, that is it.And more often than not, I wish I were in their shoes. In all the insecurities I have inside, there were times when I ask myself if this is something I caused. What is that something I failed to do? What is that something that I can probably change to make a difference? What could be missing? I have heard of success stories about people who started with nothing and ended up having the life they have always dreamed of. Can I not be one of them? My concern is never monetary. I did not wish for the whole world. I just want a launch of it a piece of it where I can enjoy life to the fullest.I did not ask for extravagant things. What would a loner do with those? I doubt if anybody could really enjoy everything alone. I did not wish for fame. I have lived my life not having the attention of the whole world. I just want some compassion and feeling of belongingness. I did not wish for power as I have never ever seen myself mandating others or controlling the world. It could be that I long for power but that power is the power to appreciate and enjoy life, the power to make people see me as a sensible being worth the company, the power to add up to the real things in this world.In short, I was never a materialistic type. There are things I lack from within and that is something I longed for to fill in. I used to have a very narrow view of things in life. I exist. I have to live. I have to survive. I used to find the question, What am I here for? or Why do I exist? as cliche that should have been buried decades back. Come on You are here because you are here and there is just nothing you can do about it It is not a problem needing solution. It is just a situation that you have to live with. You are left with just two options either you continue to exist or you end your own existence.Is that something needing some sort of profound thinking? Life is as plain as that. You just have to go with the flow. The True Art of Listening Counsellors can provide instruction in find and listening by making these skills an integral part of their ongoing activities. The dominant characteristic of observing and listening activities are often appropriate for poor readers or students in the primary grades. To believe that all students will learn the same things at the same time, at the same rate, and with the same degree of retention is undefiled fantasy.In almost any classroom at any grade level, the range of students abilities, interests, talents, knowledge, previous experiences, personalities, learning styles, dispositions and needs is so great that it is staggering. This kind of individualized instruction has resulted from efforts to make teachers more responsive to individual students an d their instructional needs. Activities that focus on observation skills emphasize things that children can comment things that can include objects, carriages or processes. Teachers need to adapt a curriculum appropriate to the needs of the students.Some of the best teaching resources for students with these kinds of learning difficulties are those teachers have developed themselves. Teachers could build most of the student activities. This will go into refiningthat is, they will be tried out with students and then revisedbut once developed, they can become resource to be used in future years. Before teachers can duplicate an activity, it would also be wise to share it with someone he/she can rely on for honest feedbacka colleague, or a fellow student teacher.One is almost certain to find that what one thought was perfectly obvious is not, and thus gain a chance to make appropriate adjustments before trying it out with ones students. It is best to start small and then build the co llection of materials easily and steadily. Responsibility in everyday life From then on, after realizing the implications of these theories, I began to take responsibility for my life now at work and beyondwhich involves self-management competency. Often, when things do not go well, people tend to blame their difficulties on the situations in which they find themselves or on others.I have learned that effective self-management does not legislate into this trap. Self-management competency includes integrity and good conduct and personal drive and resilience. I agree with what Jay Greiner posits about the reason why it is most difficult to take personal responsibility for mistakes. It is because one feels threatened and insecure. The word responsibility itself is a misused word. to a greater extent than postponing automatic assumptions, Perls, the renowned psychologist sees growth as a move from letting others be responsible to taking responsibility for oneself.Education in todays environs will be successful if we formulate activities that are engaging as much as they are educational, and if we adapt to new technologies that will help complement classroom interaction. I have further learned that drive and resilience are especially important when someone sets out to do something no one else has done or when that person faces setbacks and failures. The responsibility aspect which Jay Greiner talks about will spur more insights about ethical dilemmas that arise at all levels in the business world.People, whether employer or employee, may face situations in their work or dealings with other people in which ethical dilemmas arise. The individuals in these cases are faced with ethical questions in their relations with customers, employees, and members of a larger society. More often than not, the answers to these questions are difficult because it involves weighing of values. Conflicting values in a given situation are not capable of compromise. One has to choose one over another. Sometimes, the ethically correct course of action is clear, and hopefully individuals act accordingly.But the answers are often not simple. The dilemma is most commonly presented when ethical concerns come into conflict with the practical demands of business. This is related to the proper obedience and responsibility that I discussed earlier. Knowing how to negotiate and persuade people would be very essential for the progress of my future career. Through interactions with various kinds of people in a potential workplace, I get to know particular complexities of people and use this to a good advantage. I believe that an effective leader is a pathfinder and a team builder.As pathfinders, he has to recognize needs and accommodate the legitimate needs and wants of all stakeholders by clarifying Vision, Context, Direction, Location, Goals, Strategy, Purpose and Pace (Business Ethics). As team builders, he has to help others achieve as they create healthy, safe conditio ns for risk taking, help others become leaders, provide resources and be a resource themselves, help some move from dependence to independence, help others get things done and help determine how people work together.In the course of my experiences as a leader in the fields I have chosen, I have come to understand how my social environment wants me to be, and why, I can more wisely choose which people and events in my environment I want to make a part of me, and which ones I dont. Conclusion In summation, in order to become the person I want to be, I need to continuously identify my stub competencies. Skills are to be developed according to the actual needs and not merely based on generalities and perceptions. Work-based learning will address this concern by integrating actual experiences and practices in developing new knowledge about the organization.Today, I now know that practice and theories must be merged together (Sill, S. 1958). People can overcome barriers to effective com munication. They must first be aware that barriers exist and can cause serious problems. Then they must be willing to authorize the effort and time necessary to overcome the barriers. Learning is a lifelong process. If I operate with the assumption that I do not have all the answers or insights, I allow myself to value the different viewpoints, judgments and experiences others may bring.Sometimes I cannot help but think how my life would have turned out had I stayed in the comforts of my home, not taking risks or venturing into the pursuit of my goals. In small ways, I may not even recognize that I do contribute to larger events that happen in this world. If anybody would ask me now if I regret giving up my first degree to pursue counselling, I will answer, The sad past led me to a wonderful today. Every bit of failure and pain did not really lead me to regretting anything because in each of those, I learned. And in each of those, I grew not just as a person for myself but as a pe rson for other people. And now, I no longer find the question, What do I live for? mushy. I can tell, with chin up, I live for others to appreciate their lives. I do not just exist. I live. I continue to learn through others with high hopes and belief that they also learn from me. As I act, others may take heart and be stirred to action too. But if I waited for things to just happen then in the comforts of my own home, I would have probably be doing things mechanically without any awareness devoid of the colorful life I have led ever since I made my choice to be responsible and independent and not sabotage my ability to do things for myself. Part IIPortfolio Counsellings Role in Education The theories learned in the course is revealed as I look at it deeply and as I ponder on the experiences I had about the listening process and being listened to. What comes to be more alive to me now is the issue on Understanding. I learned that to be truly effective, the counsellor must have a th orough understanding of human behavior and be able to apply that understanding to the particular set of problems. For a moment, I knew that my experience with my friend was what I really wanted. This was actually what counsellors do with their leaf nodes. And I knew that I had the aptitude for it.In a way, it occurred to me that what I was doing at that moment was like the Person-centered approach which authors Embleton and colleagues (2004) were talking about. At that point I knew the person-centered approach was an effective simulation for both counselling and psychotherapy especially living in a complex world. (Embleton et al. , 2004). Diagnosis and the hypothesis-generating are critical and inevitable parts of the counsellors work. To understand human behavior means to have a set of concepts and theories that help to account for and explain significant human reactions and relate them to experiences.These concepts and principles provide the core for the counsellors diagnostic w ork. Counsellors use their understandings to talk to themselves about their own behavior as well as the concerns, actions, perceptions, emotions and motivations of their clients. With no theory, counsellors have nothing to say in their conversations. Counsellors who comprehend the role that an understanding of human behavior serves in their work, and who recognize the proper function of diagnosis, will work very hard to avoid the pitfalls in this area. It is part of their ethical responsibility. How can I help? As I uttered those words, I remember Higdons work on From Counselling Skills to Counsellor Psychodynamic advance, because it gave me a new understanding as he began talking. It was as if I was listening with another ear, able to comprehend the emotions behind those words and what he was really saying. (Higdon, 2004). So, I was able to cope with it well. Initially, I was about to call it quits. I had my own issues to attend to. But it dawned on me that his desire to punch the pillows was his desire to remove the cobwebs in his own mind about what he really wanted to pursue.When I really heard him, and listened to him from the heart, I understood that it was his own feelings that he was wrestling with. (Higdon, 2004). Catharsis is often not enough. At some point in the helping process, just as in this example, the counsellor must take advantage of a pause, the completion of some part of the session, or an explicit expectation of the client to help him move to a greater understanding of his anger and eventually to some new action or attitude. Ellis proposition that the way we think has a lot to do with the way we feel.Recently, I am reminded of the drive pursued by Meichenbaum (1974), which have very broad applications as a total system of therapy, and is particularly useful with clients whose anger shows righteousness or defensiveness as the dominant component, and many find it by far the most useful long-term approach. These theories became alive as I underwent that experience with my friend. How does it work? Ellis (1966) presents the basic picture to clients (a) A stimulus takes place in your life (b) you interpreted it in some way and (c) you have an unpleasant emotional response (anger).Ellis Rational affectional Therapy intervenes in the process at the second step, the interpretation, which, he says, comes from a faulty way of looking at life, a system of illogical thinking. The therapy consists of re-educating the client to think in a healthier, more appropriate way, by helping the client dispute the faulty thinking. This is the point at which many counsellors balk, because to keep at a resistant client with this kind of re-education requires a lot of conviction, ingenuity and persistence. There is a perversity that seems to want to keep the anger.One sees it in the client who resists the helpers efforts to teach the ways his or her thoughts of being unjustly treated serve to maintain the anger. There comes a time in many helping situations at which the question is appropriate Do you want to give it up? And the question If you give up the anger, what else do you have to give up? Sometimes clients will say, Yes, I want to give it up. But I cant Some clients will say, Yes, I want to. Help me figure it out. Some will say I want to stop being so angry, but I dont want to give it up altogether. Some will say, No. No, I dont really want to give up. Regardless of the answer, having the client state it explicitly usually puts the counselling at a stage to consider more accurately and profitably the realities of the clients aims. If the client asks for help, the counsellor is in good position to offer the resources of his or her ingenuity. If the client wants to stop but not altogether, the counsellor can point out to the client that truth and its implication That is your truth are you willing to take what comes with it? If the client does not want to give it at all, the counsellor can take that as a sta tement of the clients goals and ask how he can help the client work through the implications of the anger and how to minimize the ill effects of it. In sum, an important precept here aside from Understanding is guest Change. I believe that the ultimate purpose of the counselling experience is to help the client achieve some kind of change that he or she will regard as satisfying.Virtually every significant theory of counselling states that creating some kind of client change in a growth-enhancing direction is the ultimate mean outcome of the counselling experience. Some say overt behavior change is the sine qua non of the experience. Others say that behavior change is simply symptom change real and lasting change comes when the client develops new perceptions about self, significant others and about life. This is what was glaring from this experience. Client change is often difficult to document. Behavior change, if it occurs, is probably the easiest to observe because it is the mo st tangible.However, clients may also change their views about certain behaviors that they previously regarded as undesirableor they may change in the extent to which they experience stress related to an unwanted life situationor they may change in a variety of other ways that involve internal experiencing. In spite of the difficulties of assessing some kinds of change, it seems that a counsellor who cannot describe the changes that the client ahs undergone has no basis for knowing when counselling has reached and effective conclusion. REFERENCESCenter for Strategic and International Studies 2002, What is globalisation? Retrieved Feb. 2, 2007 at CSIS Globalization 101 WEBSITE on the World Wide Web http//www. globalization101. org/globalization/ Business Ethics. Retrieved Feb. 2, 2007 at http//www. amazon. com/gp/reader/0130797723/ref=sib_dp_pt/104-1829689-6709521reader-page Ellis, A. (1966). Rational-emotive psychotherapy. New York J. Norton. Embleton,Tudor,L. ,Keeras,K. ,Tudor,K. ,Valentine,J. and Worrall,M. (2004) The Person- centred ApproachA Contemporary Introduction.LondonPalgrave Higdon,J. (2004)From Counselling Skills to CounsellorA Psychodynamic Approach,BasingstokePalgrave Macmillan. Leading Quietly. Retrieved Feb. 2, 2007 at http//www. amazon. com/gp/reader/1578514878/ref=sib_rdr_ex/104-1829689-6709521? %5Fencoding=UTF8&p=S00Q&j=0reader-page Meichenbaum, D. (1974). Cognitive behavior modification. Morristown, N. J. General Learning Press, Perls, F. (1975). Growth in the Human Personality. New York New York Julian Press. Sill, S. (1958). Leadership Salt Lake City. Bookcraft, 48.